My biggest regret would be that I ever let other people’s opinions keep me from doing the things I love. I tend to be extremely self-conscious and often refrain from activities that might draw attention to me. I love to dance – in my room, with the door closed. I fantasize sometimes about going out to a club or rave party or some such. I’ve never followed through. The idea of dancing where others can see me terrifies me on a deep level. If I knew I were going to die, however, I think I would be a bit less hesitant. My life thus far has been governed almost totally by fear of what other people might think of me. I want to be able to live as if I were dying, all the time. If I were dying, I would spend those last weeks in the company of my family and friends, letting my hair down and really just being myself with no fear of consequences.

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If I could change something about my house, without regard for expense, I would want to put a tree in it. Right in the middle. Growing up out of the floor. This would have to be a large, leafy tree. The sort of tree little kids draw, with a big brown trunk and fluffy green top. The skylight would provide the sun necessary and on spring afternoons the slanting sunlight would light the leaves from the inside out with an emerald glow. I love nature and natural colors and I try to make my home reflect the outdoors as much as possible. To be able to fully bring the outdoors inside would perfect the concept.

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When I get bored, I get out my computer. Invariably. I love the feeling of having the world at my fingertips. I use StumbleUpon frequently and many times that leads me to some new, interesting idea that cures my boredom. I adore the wealth of free information and resources available via the world wide web, for the same reasons that as I child I felt most at home in my local library. I’ve always been addicted to learning, and there is no self-education tool more powerful than the internet. Furthermore, I like the idea that I can order almost anything online. No video game will be unattainable simply because it’s out of print. Someone, somewhere, has a copy that they are trying to sell on Amazon, Ebay, Craig’s list, etc. Sometimes I look for obscure books, games, and movies to just to reassure myself that they’re still out there.